Sunday, April 16, 2006

Go Speed Racer

I'm so restless. I have to find a room to rent but, alas I can't seem to charm anyone enough in my emails to respond to my response to their 'room to let' ads. What the F? It's the weekend and I ought to be out there looking at apartments, instead I'm in here writing on my blog about how I'm not out......you get the idea. But hey, I'm in shitsville and if I go out there trying to meet new roomies with this vibe it'll do more harm than good.

I went out and got groceries. I usually drive out of the city to do this so I can have a break and wash the car.
Up 87 I go and I have to go around a sloth driver in the middle lane, she's going maybe 45. So now I'm in the fast land and here she comes. whizzing up next to me in an attempt to get in front of me. This is usually the moment where I fail to make the choice to be non-competitive. And as usual I failed, embarking on a very blurred, heart pumping race to win. Win what? Good question.

Road Rager Robin--------------->

I raced her for about three miles. Shortly in the beginning of the road rage fest she had indeed overtaken me and I immediately flipped her off and called her a C word. And after it ended with me never catching her and getting in front of her (am I an adult?), the thing I was most upset about was my f-ing Jeep wasn't fast enough to shut her down. She was driving a four door, Mitsubishi, sedan maybe 90s. My Jeep is a 2006 straight 6 that should be able to out perform a car like that. Don't buy a Jeep if you need to win in road rage races.
I was pissed for a while about losing. I thought horrible thoughts of her demise on the freeway. She won, I lost, she should have a fiery car wreck. I know it's horrible and of course, after an hour or two I rethought this meanness and just hoped she got a ticket and triggered a chain of events that led to her having a very Losing day.


These are my size 11 feet, they're heavy on the gas peddle

7 comments:

MrsFortune said...

Wait, that's your road rage look? I see you're one for understatement. Very sneaky, woman.

I think I heard Jeeps were recalled for that very reason.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

lol. My road rage look is much redder and uglier. I couldn't reveal it unless you want to race.

SUEB0B said...

cool glasses! We are both cool glasses girls now.

Road rage: you would not believe how often road rage is discussed in my A Course in Miracles class. It seems that we are all subject to it.

Your feet never seemed that big to me. But you are tall.

I haven't been racing ppl. But I have been flipping them off and making ugly faces...does that count? I often fantasize about just rear ending the people who cut me off...I am a sick pup. Maybe neither of us should drive.

Diz Rivera said...

You don't know Road Rage until you've driven the calm freeways of California. We shoot people. Or pull over and beat each other. We're awesome. I'm an anti-rager. When someone cuts me off and then looks in the mirror for a victory smirk, I applaud, give them thumbs up, cheers with my coffee, the AOkay sign, a lot of winking. They hate that.

When my husband moved here from NY, he could weave our car through miniscule openings in a series of what he calls Power Moves, but the second I drove over 70 -- which does not warrant the speed lane here -- he was like, "Whoa, whoa. What's with the lead foot?"

Great haircut, by the by.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

Thanks about the hair.
I come from AZ and CA so I have a lead foot and I live in the 'rules are suggestions' land of NY. I like your ideas about how to respond to rude a-holes. I need to calm the competitiveness and start giving them the thumbs up move.

IzzyMom said...

I'm so with ya. I'm usually a reasonably calm person but bad, slow, stupid, shit ass drivers PISS ME OFF.

While I try to be chill as I usually have kids in the car, my inner road rager yearns to be free and typically finds her way out via expletives, usually mangled in a feeble attempt to not swear in front of the kids.

Nice glasses and cute hair. Wish I had a face for short hair. I learned the hard way, during a pregnant "I must have a haircut frenzy" that I do not have such a face.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

Izzy- I think I'm one of those people who only looks good in short hair, long adds about 10 years on me. Which is a plus because it's so low maintanence.