Be suspicious of what you want -Rumi

I want a devil. He wasn't going to make me happy but I wanted him. I wanted him because he refused me. This isn't the only reason, I'm not purely a fool. There was some amazing moments and I am addicted to them. But the devil refused. The devil didn't love me, want me or even care that I was alive. I am dead to him. And he is the only thing alive for me. I am a devil. I want to extract the good, kill and discard the devil in the devil. My want is so unwieldy it frightens me because it contains it's own velocity and wind patterns that accost and harass. I believe it's panic and I die a little each time I let it take lead of me. Just come back. Live my story of you and I and be everything I want. What a monster I am. What a devil you are.