My girlfriend has decided to leave me. It's temporary, a separation and I'm the one to leave. She doesn't know who she is and can't find out with me in her space. Our space, six years of space.
8 months ago I hurt her deeply and my actions are irretrievable, non refundable and karmically, it's pay back. She's damaged goods and I am the cause.
Last night I yelled at her about being the one who is destroying our relationship. She said yes, and you were the one destroying it 8 months ago. Everything she says is true but I want it to be her fault, it's easier.
I want to say something that will stop her in her tracks and make her wonder what she was thinking, snap out of it, continue to go to therapy with me and love me again. But she doesn't snap out of it and the moment of realization that what I say no longer influences the one I love is like someone cutting my oxygen.
I can't help but think temporary is going to be permanent. I don't want to ride roller-coasters with anyone but her. I don't want to argue about money or go to Michigan in the summer with anyone but her.
I want to crawl into a hole and quietly die. But instead I have to find a place to live.
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4 comments:
Ouch. I really don't know you but I'm sorry for the psychic hurt. Regardless of whose fault it is.
Thank you.
Well that stinks. I am still rooting for magic to happen. I would call but it is too late at night back there.
Well that stinks. I am still rooting for magic to happen. I would call but it is too late at night back there.
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