Who me?

I burp a lot. I'm an airy kinda gal. Probably because I eat a well rounded diet of health food and junk food. I burp so much I don't realize I've burped until I look around and see the appalled and disgusted faces of my fellow New Yorkers. They're appalled because it's rude in our society to release any kind of personal air in public. And on top of it, I'm a woman releasing personal air publicly.
I can't blame people for their mind set, not about the woman part just the burping part. I'm appalled when I hear a burping stranger too and I feel justified in my reaction even though I may do it myself at any moment. Double standard. How will I ever reach Nirvana with this attitude?
As I get older I do things in public I would never have imagined doing when I was younger.
I use a hanky to blow my nose. I'm a moisture producing gal too. This hanky business disgusts my girlfriend and when I use it in public with her near, her lip curls and she abandons me to cruel public scrutiny. I admit, I do care what people think but I've adopted an 'old men use these things, why can't I?' expression on my face as I'm folding hank and putting it back in my pocket.
I've stepped out of the fantasy that teenagers could still think I'm cool. I'm looking more like their mothers and aunts.
Even though I will fight for my right to be less 'lady like' and more 'human', today in the park I burped and a small flock of pigeons flew away. I'm thinking maybe I should at least lower the volume.