Oh look, it's overcast outside. Again.
Oh look, my mood fits it perfectly.
Matching greys.
We're in the same room and can't find each other.
The jar lid is too tight, hope is being suffocated.
I want a stronger flow, my boat doesn't float well in a shallow current.
What other colorful, descriptive phrases can I muster to express my sense of disappointment to an ending connection with someone I wish to be close to? I could sit here all day.
Weird sensation, the inability to connect when it's what I crave.
And still I wish to see her again.
Two opposing desires sit in the center of me. A rotten lot.
Here's an email from my friend in France and it says it all and I hate that it does:
I agree with you on communication and expressing feelings. i need that too.
Now you can not ask someone to be different. In fact, i've learned that people won't give you what they can't even if you ask for it every day. You won't change that.
If you are not happy with that, just walk away. You don't fit with each other.
You shouldn't ask yourself 'Am I asking too much" (you should not be waiting for something she can't give, or asking for it) but , if I may, instead of that, ask yourself : "can she give me what I need?"
never wait for anyone to be like you want them to be, or you're going to wait a long time...really.
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7 comments:
Oh...
What a very sad post...
So lonely...
And it seems like it has been a long time brewing if you have had time to write a friend in France and wait for the reply and then contemplate what they have said and then post it...
So, it does sound like you are NOT getting what YOU need...
Being lonely in a relationship is not what anyone needs...
Pendullum-This was an email to and from my friend sent just today but you're right about this being a long time brewing.
This is very hard. I think I will try to see her actions in a different perspective but I'm not sure if it will conflict with what I really need. Or if this is more about being less demanding, less selfish on my part. See, I've been known to stay in situations that I starve in. But I've also been known to demand to much too so I've got to figure out which this is. Sadly it may be both.
Give what you need?Get what you need?
I hope that it will work out...
But I think it is going to be a very sad outcome...
either way...
Very brave to post your soul searching...
Such beautiful words.
"We're in the same room and can't find each other."
Nice imagery.
I agree. Fantastic imagery. And I know exactly how that feels.
Des, Dad, Maggie, thank you.
Maggie, you understand this? Email me your thoughts, your experience..
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