A conversation that should have happened

Well, you know I never meant for you to believe that I had feelings for you..
I turn on her and she's startled by my expression.
Don't fuck with me. If you need to lie about your behavior do it with the people who weren't there.
Her mouth opens but nothing comes out in her familiar amazed way that says she can't believe what I've just had the nerve to say to her. I try not but laugh out loud.
What?
You're amazed by my outbursts of emotion. You've always been mildly displeased and alarmed with my expression of embarrassments, passions and angers. You sit in your box and watch me like a zoo animal, waiting to see what I'll do next. You're fascinated, even after not seeing me and not wanting to, you find me here and you can't keep your eyes off of me. I expect you think I'll make some amazing scene that you can take home with you and live vicariously through.
Robin, I don't want to have this conversation.
I know you don't, go ahead and color me ugly, filter me though your interpretations. Tighten you belt and pretend you didn't want me. And the next time you see me you'll be glued to my every move again. When I think of what it must be like to be you, I can't breath.