The client I'm pet-sitting for has a computer. It's slowwwwww but I'll see if I can post.
A bit of bitching about New York City rainy days.
One must be very alert when walking the sidewalks through a sea of umbrellas.
I never have one, I lose mine. All the time. They go into the closet and I can't find them again. thus I can't protect myself from the rain or more importantly from a certain type of umbrella user.
There are those umbrella users who politely angle the umbrella away from you or lift it above your head when they near thus avoiding a facial assault. These folks I like and always smile and say thank you or mumble some sort of positive sounding noise in their direction.
There are those that move it just a hairs length away from you a second before impact, a form of the game chicken.
Then there are those who don't mind in the slightest, poking their little metally umbrella spikes right in your eye.
It is this last group that I try to teach a useless lesson to. Useless because people who stick pointy things in peoples face don't care one lick for lessons.
As they approach staring dumbly at me or into space I put my arm up as if to block the umbrella, if they leave it in the same position with no attempt to move it I hit it out of my way. Thus leaving them insulted.
There. That's the lesson. Did you learn from it?
(I suggest reading additional sidewalk shenanigans brought to you by des as she discusses how to avoid sidewalk collisions.)
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6 comments:
oh don't even get me started on the old "umbrella in the eye" trick.
Maybe carry a squirt gun and blast them from underneath?
Squirt gun, this could work..
Perhaps you should get some Bono goggles to protect your vision.
I like your useless lesson. It protects you and gets them upset.
I like that trick, particularly because I feel like I'm always the one to move, lest I get injured, bumped into, my eye poked out etc.
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